This was a comment Bryan made on his FB. It was way too funny so I just HAD to copy and repost it. Thanks Bryan!!!!
Don't expect much for Christmas... Santa's sleigh was repossessed, the North Pole is in foreclosure, and the elves have been laid off.
Impossible!!.. Santa is too BIG to fail.
Hurry, quick.. There's no time for debate.. We must pass a resolution to regulate Christmas....
It will be mandated that the elves be unionized to ensure this kind of surprise layoff never happens again.
A cash for clunkers program will subsidize Santa's sleigh problems. He will be allowed to trade in some of his older, less efficient sleighs with a government backed guarantee trade-in value of $5k each, (even if it arrives in pieces) to put toward buying a brand new sleigh.
We will insist that the lender forgive the debt on both the sleigh and the property at the north pole because, after all, we ARE the bank now.
Santa will also benefit from some stimulus money because he owes a lot of money to some foreign bankers who we don't want to disappoint because, they own US.
Lastly, Santa will be awarded a no-bid contract at a premium rate as long as he agrees to always deliver toys to undocumented children, regardless of their naughty or nice status.
We will call this resolution, "The Christmas Freedom, Justice, Patriot, Liberty, Eagle, Green, Fairness, Reform Act"
A Christmas Czar will be 'appointed by' and 'report directly to' the President to ensure that operations are in line with federal standards. After the state takeover of Christmas it will be required to be separated from church. December 25th will now be known as Xmas.
This year, Christmas will come and go as usual, with no noticeable changes. There will seem to be as many or even more presents under the tree. Retail reports will even show a slightly upward trend over the last few years..
But history will show that 'Conrad Kringle' and his 'green shirted' elves were sold down the river in the blink of an eye.
ALL, WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING.
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